19 Christmases

Another Christmas gone by and another new year. Time seems to fly by so fast sometimes. I guess when you think about it though 19 Christmases doesn't seem like that many. 19 Christmases, 19 years, and it comes to an end. An end for me at least. This Christmas was much different than any other. Maybe it was God continuing to teach me things from Haiti or maybe its now that I've grown a little from being a fresh-off-the-yes Christian that I now see Christmas very differently. I do know though, that this Christmas was my last Christmas. My last "americanized" Christmas.


As I went through the pre-Christmas weeks I found myself continually thinking, how have we lost the real meaning of Christmas this much? How could we have turned Christmas into something that doesn't even have Christ in it at all? And may I be as bold as to say, what are we as Christians thinking when we conform to the world and celebrate it like everyone else with just the extra church service thrown in!? These questions troubled me, the stores troubled me, receiving anything at all troubled me. 


And I think it should. I think it should trouble each and every one of us that call on the name of Jesus. As I thought more and more on what the true meaning of Christmas was, I felt God speak to me in some specific areas. Now don't get all up in an uproar, hear me out.


I don't think Christmas was ever mean to be about giving, apart from God giving Himself through the birth of Christ. Now let me first define what I mean by giving. Christmas is not about giving gifts or money. It was never meant to be about giving and recieving. 


To see what Christmas is really all about I think that we instead need to focus on why God gave His Son. Mark 10:45 says "The Son of Man did not come to be served. He came to serve others and to give His life as a ransom for many people." So should we not instead serve in celebration of the birth of Christ? If Christ came to serve, shouldn't we be serving, especially at Christmas time? Should Christmas not be about laying down our lives, sacrificing everything for the sake of others? Or should we continue to give and receive yet another shirt, yet another gaming system, yet another material item that we already have such an abundance of?


You see there's a huge difference between giving and serving. Anyone can give. Anyone can throw some money at you. Anyone can purchase something, wrap it up, and hand it away. But to serve. To serve as Christ served. That's a whole different ball game. It's giving on steroids. It's not necessarily giving material things away, but giving your life away for the sake of the Gospel and God's people. 


I don't know what you'll be doing next Christmas. I hope not going through the motions. And I'm not sure exactly where God will send me, but I do know what I'll be doing in celebration of my King. Serving like I've never served before. For this is our whole meaning for existence, that He came to serve, He came to lay down His life, He came to redeem the world. Should we not do the same?

The Five Major

Wow, can I just say I am so glad this semester is over. I feel like God was dealing with me in so many other areas that school was on the back-burner. But by the grace of God, I got through, and actually did pretty well. So to close up this semester I thought I'd share the five major things God taught me this semester apart from school. 


Here it goes:


1. We can do nothing apart from Christ. 
I cannot change someone, save someone, or make their life better, only God can. A few times this semester I found myself in a situation where I knew God had put someone in my life to reach for Christ, but I often found myself trying to make things happen out of my own power or guilt tripping myself when things didn't progress the way I would have liked them to (that brings us to #2). In all these situations I found myself in the position where all I could do is let go of the control I was trying to have and just be there ready for when God wanted to use me. 


John 15:4-5 "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."


2. We are on God's time, not ours. 
I'm the type of person who likes to know what's going on and when. But God definitely does not work that way. The friend I'm still talking to that I would have liked to take those next steps 2 months ago. The bad habit I would have liked to kick 4 months ago. The urge to go back to Haiti now! In all these things, I've learned God is in control, especially when it comes to timing. He knows so much more than I ever will and He sees the whole picture of all of our lives. So the smartest thing to do (even though its hard) is to trust in Him that things will happen when He has decided, in their prime time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."


3. God intended for us to do life together. 
God never meant us to go through life keeping our struggles and trials to ourselves and suffering in silence. He didn't intend for what He's doing in our lives to be kept secret either. It is vital that we are plugged into a group of believers that can support us in times of need, speak Truth into our lives, and slap us when we are about to do something stupid. You will be surprised how many other people end up getting set free when you open up and download. It's great to pray for each other, but Jesus didn't just sit around and pray for His disciples, He did life with them. He got up in their junk, called them out when needed, and built them up in Truth and love. 


Hebrews 10:24-25 "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near."


4. We are in desperate need of God's grace everyday at every moment.
 As many times as I've failed this semester, said the wrong thing, did the wrong thing, or didn't do anything, I've learned that I am in absolute desperate need of God's grace at every moment. We are by nature sinners and will continue to sin day in and day out until we meet Jesus face to face. But PRASIE GOD that His mercies are new each day, that His grace is poured out in ABUNDANCE day in and day out. Don't get me wrong, this grace is not an excuse to sin, but a perpetual motion that guides us back to the cross of Christ, where we see the high cost of sin.


Lamentations 3:22-23 "Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness!"


5. We are blessed beyond belief and that should result in gratitude and praise.
God has absolutely poured out so many blessings in my life. First off, I'm alive which means He's not done with me yet. He not only provides the necessities of life, but above and beyond. Going to Haiti this semester definitely turned my whole world upside down on this subject. I realized that even as a 19 year old, I have more than about half the world does. For example, I have a car with heat and air and even music. Half the people in the world don't have heat or air in their homes, or electricity or a home at all if you want to be honest. God has blessed us abundantly, but we should never allow this to lead us into the feeling that we are entitled to it all. Every blessing God pours out should return to Him in praise and thanksgiving, and also in service to others. Because if you want to talk about entitlement and what we deserve, well I don't think you want to go there. Because what we deserve is a life separated from God, a life in hell. We deserve the wrath and judgement of God. We don't even deserve to be alive!


Ephesians 3:20-21: "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever."

Rooted

It's that time of year again. The cold weather, the stress of the end of the semester, exams, papers, the hectic holiday shopping all call for a burn out sooner or later. For many Christians it's the time of compromise. I can gain an extra hour of study time (or sleep) instead of reading my Bible. I can get the extra hours at work if I miss small group. The list goes on and I think we can all say we've been there. What I've been realizing though is that we don't have time not to. We don't have time not to read our Bible, for it's what directs us in life. We don't have time not to pray, for this is how our hearts mold to God's will. We don't have time not to gather together to grow in community, for God didn't call us to do life alone.


I've also come to realize that this isn't so much a time problem as it is a heart problem. The second part of Romans 11:16 says "if the root is holy, so are the branches." Our root is our heart. Jesus has given us a heart transplant and we have to take the responsibility to keep our hearts rooted in Him. Just as this verse says, if our root is holy, that is if our hearts are pure in Christ, so are the branches, everything that flows from our hearts. So you see, its not a time problem, its a root problem. If we keep our hearts focused on Him and keep Him in the center of our heart, everything that flows from it will be kept holy as well. We'll think twice in those moments of compromise, we'll think twice about being quick to get agitated and annoyed, and we wont be as likely to end up in a burn out.


It's that stressful time of year, but remember we don't have time not to keep our hearts rooted. Let all else flow from that be holy and pleasing to Him who is the root of all things. 

Not One Left Behind

I have learned that my expectations are too small, even insulting to God, if I may say myself. God blew my mind at the 1st Annual Orphan Care Coffee House this past Thursday. This event was a fundraising coffee house to raise money for Canaan Christian Community and the Clopton Family who is adopting a child from Ghana. It was also a major push to bring about awareness of the orphan problem worldwide and to provide opportunities to get involved.

 I was put in charge of running the Canaan section for the night, which I was more than happy to take on! I love talking about what God is doing there! But more particular that night I was given the opportunity to step out in faith with a vision that God had given me; to love on the kids of Canaan and provide Christ-like examples and relationships to them, even if from a distance. After about two months in prayer and working out logistical issues, it was game time.

I had all 40 of the older kid's pictures and 40 commitment cards in hope that people would commit to pray and connect with a child at Canaan. I'm not going to lie, I had no clue what the out turn was going to be. I was scared that not even one child would get picked. But that quickly got disproved. As the night went on, more and more people made decisions to commit to a child. I saw the number of pictures on the table get smaller and smaller by the hour. 

It was 11pm, the closing time of the coffee house, and I still had 8 Canaan kids left. I started panicking and praying, "Lord, don't let one child be left! These are Your precious and chosen children!" As people left, four of the eight had people commit to them. We started breaking down and packing up, but for some reason I could not put those 4 pictures that we're left away. And as always God kept telling me, "trust me". I can't even begin to tell you how many times I debated it in my head, "Let's call it a night..", "No! None of them is being left!", and back and forth, back and forth.

By around 11:15pm all but one was left. I turned around to grab the rest of my stuff to call it a night and sure enough God provided. A girl came running over, "Are there still any Canaan children left!? I want to pray for and write to one!" I honestly had to hold back tears, but I definitely didn't hold back my excitement. Good thing that didn't scare her off!

So here I am, Sunday night, reflecting on God's awesome and unexplainable faithfulness. His ability to see us through in any and every aspect of our lives is truly amazing. My memory verse this week, was right on point for this occasion (of course, God always works it out like that!). Psalm 37:5 says "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act." 

And boy did He act!

Kid's pictures

Getting to talk about what God is doing at Canaan!

A Faithful God

It was a FAITHFUL God who didn't give up on a FAITHLESS Adam and Eve even after they disobeyed Him and rebelled against Him. 

It was a FAITHFUL God who found a faithful man named Noah when the entire human race was FAITHLESS and turned away from Him, but He chose to preserve humanity because He loved humanity and was a FAITHFUL God. 

It was a FAITHFUL God who found a FAITHLESS man named Abraham and chose and called him and out of him brought about a nation that outnumbered the starts.

It was a FAITHFUL God who raised up a  man named Joseph and allowed him to be betrayed by his brothers, thrown into prison so that he could eventually be brought out of prison and preserve the nation of Israel and Egypt in a time of famine.

It was a FAITHFUL God who found a man named Moses to bring His people out of cruel Egyptian bondage and slavery. 

It was a FAITHFUL God who raised up a new leader named Joshua when the FAITHLESS generation refused to enter the promised land and died off in the wilderness and FAITHFULLY brought them into a land called Canaan. 

It was a FAITHFUL God who raised up judges to deliver the people of Israel through the centuries as they sinned against Him and did what was right in their own eyes but FAITHFULLY when they cried to Him, He heard them and delivered them.

It was a FAITHFUL God who raised up a faithful shepherd boy named David who nobody else was even considering was next in line for the kingship to replace a FAITHLESS king named Saul to lead His FAITHLESS people of Israel into the FAITHFUL promises of God.

It was a FAITHFUL God who out of that lineage of King David brought the FAITHFUL One, Jesus Christ, to rescues His people from their sins.

It was a FAITHFUL God who reached down in compassion and love exactly one year ago today and saved me from myself.

It was a FAITHFUL God who took my broken life, broken heart, and broken dream and brought about peace, hope, and joy.

It was a FAITHFUL God who two days later sovereignly placed me at the church with a faithful pastor who told me that God wasn't done with me yet and that He could and would do immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine.

It was a FAITHFUL God who used my FAITHLESS past to speak Truth into peoples lives, bring encouragement in times of despair, and the message of hope and redemption in Christ.

It was a FAITHFUL God who led me to leave my dream school, who FAITHFULLY led me away from that idol and into His plan of so much more.

It was a FAITHFUL God who led me to seminary to show me that I was not at all normal and that He had called me and grown me in such a unique way.

It was a FAITHFUL God who stood by my side in times of stripping and suffering and who is FAITHFULLY seeing me through in the process of sanctification.

It was a FAITHFUL God who not only calls me a daughter, but allows me to participate in advancing His Kingdom and making Jesus known.

It was a FAITHFUL God who led me to Haiti a little more than a month ago and through that is continually laying out the strategy of achieving His plan and purposes for my life.

It is a FAITHFUL God who stands by me day in and day out.

 A FAITHFUL God who loves me in my mess. 

A FAITHFUL God who comforts me in my sorrow. 

A FAITHFUL God who forgives my mistakes. 

A FAITHFUL God who calls me to something bigger. 

A FAITHFUL God who continues to blow my mind with His grace and mercy. 

A FAITHFUL God who I put all my hope and trust in. 

A FAITHFUL God I will follow, even if it leads to the cross. 

He is FAITHFUL. 

He has always seen me through. He is my rock, my life, my everything.

One year has blown my mind. God keeps saying "You think that was crazy, you just wait."

Buckle up and hold on tight because here comes round two.