Reflections from Haiti

Everything looks the same, yet none of it actually is the same anymore. I walk the sidewalks of campus and I see the same landscape as always, yet in my mind I see the dirt and ruble of the streets of Haiti. I see kids riding their bikes around campus, yet in my mind I see the kids of Canaan playing with a dilapidated soccer ball. It has been almost a month since returning from Haiti and I still cannot say that I have fully processed it. I question if I will ever fully process what God did in my heart and life that week. While I know that God still has much to do in my heart from Haiti, I do know that in just these short weeks He has shown me and grown me more than I could have ever expected. Before leaving, I knew that God was going to use this trip as a growing point in my life, but I could have never imagined something to this extent. I never imaged He would do something so great in my heart that it continues to stay with me day by day and even moment by moment.

God first and foremost grew my ability to love in a way I never even thought possible. I absolutely fell in love with each and every child of Canaan. While I thought it would be us coming to show these kids what love is, it ended up being these kids showing me what love is. Their ability to love complete strangers continues to remind me to this day of the kind of love Jesus showed to people in the Bible. As each day passed my love for them grew more and more by each second. I cannot remember loving anyone like I love these kids. I honestly want to say that my love for them is as close to unconditional as our human condition allows. There was no judgment in this love, no selfish motives, no jealously or pride, just pure overflowing love. Coming back to the States opened my eyes to see how blessed these kids are to know and have that kind of love. I realized that our society is incredibly rampant with prejudice love. This realization continues to challenge me to “love like I loved in Haiti.”

This leads me into one of the biggest things God taught me and continues to remind me of everyday. I struggled so much during the week, feeling like I didn’t even have enough love to give. I wanted to love them so much more, for the rest of my entire life. Yet, I felt like I didn’t have any more love to possibly give. This is when God brought me to such a greater understanding of Himself. I was right; I couldn’t love them to the fullest, because only God can love them to the fullest. I struggled with leaving these kids in so much need, yet God kept telling me, “I am the only One who can provide for them in every need.” I struggled with letting them go, leaving them, yet God kept reminding me, “you may leave them, but I never will.” In every aspect that I leave deficient, God completes. While it is our job to be light to this world and to show Christ through our lives, it is God who will complete all things and who will fully fulfill every one of our lives.

God taught me so many lessons about life while in Haiti. The one that hit the hardest hit the second day we got home in the oddest way. While washing dishes, the baby seal on the Dawn dish soap bottle caught my eye like never before. In that moment God unleashed a whole dissertation through a baby seal and some dish soap. I realized how careless and apathetic we, especially in American society, are for other humans. We are willing to throw millions of dollars to help baby seals and wildlife while so many people are dying of starvation and preventable diseases all over the world. Our pets in America eat better than about half of the world’s human beings. Don’t get me wrong, I love animals and think that we should be good stewards of creation and what God has provided. But I must say that our priorities are insanely out of balance. In Genesis chapters one and five we see that we, as human beings, are made in the “image” and “likeness” of God! What kind of extraordinary value does that place on us?! Shouldn’t that push us to risk it all for the sake of others? Shouldn’t it challenge us to put our efforts and blessings into helping our brothers and sisters across the world? This single dish soap dissertation has changed my entire outlook on life. It has challenged and provoked me to pour out every ounce of my life for the sake of God’s people, just as Christ did for us.

God continues to use my experiences in Haiti to teach me so much every day. Just recently, He has been continuing to show me the power of the Body, joined as nations, unified in prayer and worship of our Savior. I got news a few weeks ago about a little baby boy, Chevy, that stole my heart in Haiti. He was fighting for his life and the people of Canaan were in an urgent rush to get him help, as we all know is twice as hard to do in Haiti. My heart broke, and my urgency to help little Chevy was in overdrive. I had no clue what to do; my heart was in Haiti, yet I was in America. The only thing I could think to do was pray. I left my dorm room on a mission, to gather any and everyone to pray for this baby. That night was only the start of a huge lesson of God’s power to move and unify the nations. During the past two weeks of following update by update, I have seen hundreds, literally hundreds, here at Southeastern, my friends from all over, and people I barely even know stand together in prayer for baby Chevy and the people of Canaan. I can’t remember any other time I have seen more prayer meetings go down, any other time I have seen broke college kids pull together and give generously for the sake of someone they didn’t even know, or any other time I have seen the urgency and unity of the Body from all over stand together asking God for the impossible. It has absolutely blown my mind and continues to this very second. What a mighty God we have. A God that is not bound my borders, languages, or cultures; a God that unites all under Him.

There is so much that I could go on to say, so many things God continues to teach me. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have gone on this trip, to see a team so unified for the sake of outpouring Christ’s love on a community, to see how incredibly spiritually rich these people with so little are, and to see the nations come together as one. I can only imagine what God has in store for me next as a result of what happened in Haiti. Lord willing, I will soon return to retain my heart that was left in Haiti from the start, even though it will probably end up staying there again.

Haiti Journal: Return to the States

Oct.10, 2010

The first day back in America. Everything seems the same, yet none of it’s the same anymore. Seeing what we have in light of what so many don’t. it is really challenging me to be a better steward of what God has given me. Simple things like clean water in a matter of seconds, where as in Haiti it would take hours to fill one bucket through a drip filtration system, and only less than 1% of the population even have that. Things like paved roads and transportation, where as in Haiti the majority of people have to walk miles and hours on end up and down mountains, most having no shoes, just to get water that isn’t even clean. I’ve been struggling, I really have. How can I come back to show much when so many have so little? I want to go back so bad, right now. But God has been speaking and I know I will go back, when and for how long I have no clue, but I do know that right now I am here, back in America. So what am I going to do with what God has taught me and allowed me to experience? How will my life change? How can I use every single thing from this week for His glory in the states? Being grateful first and foremost, being a better steward obviously. But how can I live my life in a way that reflects what I have learned and more importantly reflects the story God wrote in my life this week? I haven’t felt like talking much to anyone. Should I? Or should I just start living my life in a way that speaks for itself? I walk outside and everything seems the same, yet in mind all I see are the dirt and ruble. I pass some kids riding their bikes, yet in my mind I see my kids back in Haiti playing with rocks or trash. The simplicity, the contentment of those with so little. How can I bring that glimpse of heaven God showed me in Haiti here?

Polo playing in the rocks.

Home truly is where the heart is

and I definitely left mine in Haiti.

Haiti Journal: Day 5

Oct. 8, 2010

I’m so broken yet so overjoyed all at the same time. My heart yearns for these kids like nothing I have never felt before. I want them to know how much they are loved, not only by me, but most of all by Jesus. We got to take the kids to the beach today. It was absolutely amazing and they had such a blast! I realized how blessed these kids at Canaan actually are. After hiking though the villages this morning I really do see that these kids are extremely blessed in Haiti terms. They have food, water, shelter, are able to attend school, and just enjoy a day at the beach. I don’t know how I’m going to adjust back in the States. God, would you use this brokenness to start a rival back home. Something, anything. And would you move people to advance the Gospel here in Haiti. I have such a heart for these people, such a heart to love in so many greater ways because of this experience. I thank You and praise You for that. Would I never forget the work you did in my heart and others this week and would you help me to use it daily for the Gospel and advancing Your Kingdom. I really did learn how to love about as close to unconditionally as I think humanly possible this week. I have such a greater appreciation for the blessings God has given to me. The simplest things like regular cars with seats or access to transportation in general, a sink that allows me to have access to clean water in seconds, and so many other things. These Haitians have to work so hard for every aspect of survival. God, I just thank you so much for this opportunity. Would you use every aspect for Your glory. Don’t let any go to waste.

I trained up some skilled sand castle builders.

 

Some of the team and kids taking a break.

Haiti Journal: Day 4

Oct. 7, 2010

I can’t believe we only have one full day left. Ronnie and I finished the admin office. It looks a million times better and will now hopefully be able to function well and fast. I got to spend some real quality time with the girls today. I love them all so much and I see just how much they long to be loved, to have someone always ready to give a hug or even acknowledge them. They told me once again how much they didn’t want me to go. They said they were going to cry when I left. I think I’m definitely going to beat them in that category. I asked Seth, our leader, if I could write them and he said yes, so I am really hoping that I actually will be able to that they will be able to write back. I also learned there is a group coming down during Spring Break, I think. I’m definitely going to look into that. These kids deserve so much more than just a week to be loved on. We got pretty much all of the painting done at the new clinic and it is looking awesome! While we were down there painting tonight we got to stop and just admire the Milky Way. Yes, you can actually see the Milky Way! There are so many stars down here. Its almost like there are more stars than there is darkness. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we would be like that to the world! We also got to see the sunset over the long stretches of ocean. It’s absolutely breathtaking. I love how the simplest moments mean so much. I love how life is so simple here. These people truly are blessed and a lot richer than we will ever be in so many ways. To not be consumed in material items and the hustle and bustle of a success drive society. I would die for people in America to spend just one day here in a place where there is so little, where you have to put hours of work into getting anything done. I pray that these kids would grow up to be world changers. To fall so in love with Jesus that the overflow can’t be contained. That it would spread through this community, this country, and the world. 

Pray for Baby Chevy

Just got news that one of my kids in Haiti is very very sick. He has numerous doctors on him currently but is getting progressively worse. Please pray RIGHT NOW, gather everyone you know and pray pray pray. Thank you! 

From Kendall: Please pray for Chibleson (Chevy) he is very sick and we are having to put him on an I.V...we're not sure what he has but we have four nurses and a doctor working on him right now. Just pray pleeeaaase.

From Elsie: Pray for Chevy! He got sick last night and is getting progressively worse. Vomits everything, fever, too dehydrated for IVs, getting lethargic. Pray the last sublingual medicine will kick in so he can start keeping down fluids. Tomorrow he goes for more tests.

Robby and Chevy

Me and Chevy